we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
