he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
