shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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