hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
