I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
this beer tastes like vomit already
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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