He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
