So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
