White coat. Heels.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
