I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i dont even know how to be here
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
