wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
lol hangovers are for mortals.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
