Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Apparently you make a good broom.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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