She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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