I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
