Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
