oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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