hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
