I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
that may or may not have been my penis.
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