My brain says no but my pants say off.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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