his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
