He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
