i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think people are normalizing furries
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize