i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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