we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
