marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
