I think im going to throw up on grandma
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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