I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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