I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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