Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
