He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I need moral support for this bender
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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