she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize