You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You smell like stripper and shame
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The struggles of a small town man whore
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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