she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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