Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
