if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
