There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
