I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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