I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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