maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
