I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
