just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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