I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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