Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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