there's paper in my vomit.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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