I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
