the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
