Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
