the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
