I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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