No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just found puke in my bra..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize