i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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