at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
