The maid of honor just puked.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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