Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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