it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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