I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
