I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
