my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
