Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
