Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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