she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
