i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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